Nic’s Adoption Story **Part 8

On January 12, 2017 we walked out the doors of that orphanage where Nic spent almost the first year of his life. Not a single person was there to say goodbye, but he arrived home to be greeted with the hugs, kisses and love of cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings!

We celebrated his 1st birthday one week later. The first year of his life was spent alone in an orphanage crib, but he celebrated his 1st birthday surrounded by a mom, dad and six siblings! What a beautiful day!

All six of his siblings, including Colt, were in love with him immediately. They have all learned more about God's love and faithfulness and giving of ourselves for others through this process than any lesson book could ever teach them.

Day by day Nic’s smiles and giggles started coming easier .

He learned to cry because someone loved him and would answer his cries. One of the most eerie aspects of the orphanage is the silence. Rooms full of children but hallways so silent you could hear a pin drop as children have learned that their cries will not be comforted. .

His head shaking completely stopped within weeks of being home.

One of the hardest parts was his trauma in regards to food.  He would not stop eating when he was fed and became upset EVERY time the food was pulled away. His blood tests showed malnourishment when we arrived home and we knew that this would take time and healing. Today he has minimal food issues, but they are still lingering and we remain aware and sensitive to this trauma.

. We know that there might always be scars that we will be sensitive to, but by God’s grace, 19 Months later, Nic has been transformed by unconditional love.

What a beautiful picture we have been given of our adoption into God’s family. Chosen while we were still sinners, broken, hurting, with nothing to offer...Ransom paid by the precious blood of Christ...Made a child of God’s and transformed by His love. The scars of our old self might remain in this life, but we are forgiven and made new by our Father who loves us and hears our cries and nothing we can do will ever separate us from that love.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are...

1 John 3:1

Nic’s Adoption **Final Part

Not every adoption story is a happy one. Regardless of Down syndrome or adoption, each day brings with it new trials, but God’s mercies are new every morning.

It’s not about the “fairy tale ending” but walking by faith, uncompromisingly and courageously following God regardless of the earthly outcome, loving because He first loved us.

What might be the life that we would never have known to choose, we live in joy or through affliction, trusting in Him and his promises.

We never knew we wanted a child with Down syndrome until Colt was born and we learned that what we never would have known to ask for was an amazing gift from God.

We had never considered adoption, or adopting a child with Down syndrome, and now cannot imagine our life without Nic.

I am so thankful that God’s thoughts and ways are not mine and as the heavens are higher than the earth, so His ways are higher than mine, because if life had gone according to my thoughts and plans, I would have missed out on all of this!

I might still be looking at children with different abilities with a bit of sadness instead of celebrating those differences and seeing the gift in them. I might still fear a diagnosis or adoption instead of learning to walk in greater faith.

I would have missed out on the smiles and laughter that Colt and Nic bring every day and never have seen the beauty in The way God chooses to use the innocent, love and joy of two little boys who happen to have an extra chromosome.

Praise the Lord for continuing to grow our faith that we might have the courage to follow him wherever he leads.

Nic’s Transition and Progress

The question that I have received the most on Nic’s adoption story is “How did Nic transition into our family and how did he develop?”

While this could be a series all on its own, I’ll try to summarize a little.

I don’t think I could possibly fathom how brave and resilient our boy is, calmly adjusting to life in a boisterous family of 9.

I wanted him to sleep on me in the beginning in hopes of attachment, but he craved the silence of his crib. Often when we would hold him he would want to be put down and just lay on his belly sucking his fingers by himself. I hated this, because I wanted him to feel our love but I knew he needed it. He still will occasionally do this but now loves cuddling too.

He would have laid awake in his crib for hours if we didn’t check on him.

He never cried. Probably 1 month after being home, in the middle of the night, he cried for me.  As I rubbed his back he became quiet and as I slowly got up to leave his bed he started to cry again.  I returned and rubbed his back until he was quiet. The cycle continued and I was never so happy to be up in the middle of the night with a crying baby.

He now “yells” or makes noises for us when he awakes and I’m waiting for the day he will yell “mama”!

Food was difficult. He could only eat puréed food for the first 8 Months of being home and finally at 20 Months old we were able to slowly start incorporating solid food. He did not know how to stop eating and could eat 3 days worth of food and then throw it up, but became very upset when it was pulled away. This just took time, measuring and understanding. He’s doing so well now.

His eye contact, muscle tone and development improved quickly. After 3 months of being home he went from just holding his head up to sitting up for the first time. Clip of his first time sitting up:

[wpvideo 5eJLzpbS ]

From there he has continued to hit milestones. He is still nonverbal but has begun to learn sign language.

His smile, laughter, and love is the biggest change and that has just come one day at a time until we look back and realize that we don’t even recognize what he used to be.

**Picture is from Nic's first summer with us.

ID Bracelets and Safety for Our Children with Down syndrome

Nic got his new ID bracelet and Colt is wearing two because his new one also arrived and he doesn’t want to take his old one off. He loves his bracelets.

I get asked about his bracelet a lot. So, here's the reason for the Medical ID bracelet and why I recommend getting one for your little ones.

Wandering, running off, or the clinical term, elopement, can be a frightening and fairly common behavior seen in children with Down syndrome. We have had some scary moments with Colt.

The fact that he loves to meet others, has very little fear and can open locks, buckles, climb gates and every other safety feature, does not put our mind at ease. We are always looking for ways to keep him safe.

After one scary incident we decided to order him an ID Bracelet as added protection should his propensity to wander and run off ever lead to one of our biggest fears, losing him.

Now that Nic is walking we decided it was time for him to have a bracelet of his own. I am still looking into GPS trackers as well, but a Medical ID bracelet is such a simple step we can take to help our boys in a moment of crisis.

Their new bracelets are from American Medical ID who have generously offered to  give 10% back on every purchase (5% on Gold) to Reece's Rainbow Down syndrome adoptions, as well as offered 10% off your purchase(5% off gold) when you enter the code “DWONDERFUL”. (Code will be valid for 2 weeks).

Here are a few more tips to help with the  frightening issue of running off:

According to "Supporting Positive Behavior in Children and Teens with Down Syndrome; The Respond but Don't React Method" by David S. Stein, children with Down syndrome do not process a lot of words in a moment of disciplining.   They process strong emotions, eye contact and facial expressions and seek attention in that way.  Bolting can become an attention seeking behavior.

"When you get upset, make lots of eye contact, raise your voice, and make strong facial expressions, your child is likely to experience your reaction as fun... for people with DS who are highly attuned to other people, this is like winning a slot machine- all the lights are flashing and it's entertaining!" (Stein p. 83)

Things to do: 1) Keep your reaction in check. Run after the child to keep him safe, but do not react.  Do not use a lot of words or yell or make eye contact.  Remain calm.

2) As discussed earlier, ID Bracelets and GPS trackers are an important safety tool for anywhere that you are at, home and away.

3) We have discussed Colt's propensity to wander with our neighbors so that they can be aware of the situation should the boys ever get out.  Nic is not a fast enough walker yet, but I am preparing for the possibility of him joining Colt too.

4) We have windows that open from the top and we do not leave them open from the bottom where the boys can reach.  Why do I include this? Colt has pushed a chair to the window, popped the screen out and climbed out the window to our backyard.  Fortunately, we caught him immediately, but it was a good lesson.  No open windows that he can reach or even climb to reach!

5) Add chimes on doors and windows and add locks where they can't be reached.  Now that Colt has grown we will be adding more locks in higher locations.  We have built extra gates as well, but Colt can climb them.

Hope this has given you some ideas to help keep your child safe.  It is constantly a concern of mine, so please share anything that has worked for you!

Have any of you had a scary moment when your child has wandered? Have you found any sort of GPS tracker or safety aids that you like? 

Colt’s Birth Story Part 1

img_8692

img_8695

img_8693

We could never have guessed that God would use Colt’s birth to lead us to Nic in an orphanage across the ocean.

We would never have imagined the amount of love and joy that Colt and Nic would spread to people all around the world.

We never knew how God would use these two boys to give comfort and hope to so many others who have received their own diagnosis.

But, almost 4 years ago, on the evening of Colt’s birth when we looked at Colt’s beautiful almond eyes and asked ourselves, “Do you think he has Down syndrome?”... We did know Psalm 139:14… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

We knew 1 Corinthians 1:27 …God chose those the world considers foolish to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong and

John 9:3… but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

So, we knew that God was going to use Colt with his beautiful extra chromosome for His glory and this was the beginning of a new adventure. As all adventures in life, it is not always without fear, trials and difficulties but it is filled with the testimony of God’s grace and faithfulness through it all.

***Part one of Colt’s birth story. More in to come in upcoming posts.***

Colt’s Birth Story Part 2: A Down Syndrome Diagnosis

Our five older children sent to the playroom to wait, had only made it to the opening scene of “Frozen” when we delivered Colt in our bedroom at home with our midwife in what was a peaceful, smooth and FAST delivery. With the exception of a great deal of swelling due to an unusual face presentation birth, there was nothing unusual about our beautiful baby boy.

But as the evening went on I began to notice something unusual. Colt didn’t cry the entire night. He hadn’t cried since his birth. While this was pleasant, I knew that it wasn’t normal.

As his swelling went down I noticed the almond shape to his eyes. That was the first moment that I saw it and the first time I said my thoughts out loud to Jim…

“Do you think he has Down syndrome?”

Instead of sleeping, we found ourselves scouring the internet for “signs of Down syndrome”.

When our midwife returned the next afternoon, we did not immediately mention the diagnosis that in our hearts we were certain of.

I noticed her examining all the areas that I had been staring at all evening, checking for the gap in between the big toe, the crease on the palm of the hand, the smaller ears. Colt had none of these, but his eyes told it all.

It wasn’t just his beautiful almond shape eyes with the skin fold on the upper eye, but one of my favorite traits, his Brushfield spots, the little white sparkles on the blue iris of his eyes that told us his diagnosis that first night, long before the lab tests.

She asked me if he looked like our other children. I responded that he looked exactly like his older brother as a newborn but with Down syndrome.😊

Our sweet midwife didn’t know that we had suspected this and shared that she agreed. She asked us how we felt about this if it proved to be true. Jim quickly responded, “we don’t care… why would we feel any differently? He’s just as wonderfully made as our other children.”….

**Part 3 in next post**

Thanks so much for all your sweet notes!

Colt’s Birth Story Part 3: A Down Syndrome Diagnosis

“Surreal” is the only word that I can think of to describe the initial discovery of Colt’s diagnosis.  I don’t know if it’s a good word, but we were surprised, not sad or upset.   We knew that God does not make mistakes and we loved individuals with Down syndrome but also knew nothing about it.

It took about 10 days for lab confirmation of the diagnosis that we already knew. During this time, we explained to our children that God had knit an extra chromosome in every one of Colt’s cells, called Down syndrome. If you have followed me long, you have probably heard that this big sister went running out our back door screaming and crying, “he does not have Down syndrome!”

She had absolutely no idea what Down syndrome was and had only seen us react with happiness about it but it sounded scary and she didn’t want anything that was different for her baby brother.

I think that’s how many adults react. The unknown can be scary but it doesn’t mean that it is bad, as she quickly learned. All of my children have loved Colt as Colt from the beginning. Down syndrome might have been a scary name but they realized that it really meant nothing in defining who he was. He was just their adorable brother who they loved.

img_8816

My sister is one of the few people that I told at the very first moment we began to suspect Colt’s Down syndrome.  She arrived at our house shortly after with a meal and two “Am I Rockin’ this Extra Chromosome or What?” onesies.😊

This was how I hoped everyone would respond.  I dreaded the thought of someone saying, “I’m sorry” about our beautiful baby boy that we celebrated. With the exception of a close few, we didn’t share the news until we received the final confirmation.

***Announcing Colt in next post Part 4***

Colt's Birth Story Part 4: Our Announcement Letter

We wanted to share Colt’s diagnosis in a way that let people know that we celebrated our wonderfully made boy with his extra chromosome.

It has been almost 4 years since Jim and I together wrote Colt’s birth announcement, but the emotions still come flooding back every time I read it...

“We wanted to take a minute to share an update with you on our newest member of the family, Colt. Turns out our little guy has been gifted with an extra chromosome, otherwise known as Trisomy 21 or Down syndrome…. This changes nothing for us in our mind. Psalm 139 hasn’t changed. Colt is just as fearfully and wonderfully made by our perfect Creator as our other five children so why should we feel any different? God didn’t make a mistake when Colt was being ‘intricately woven’ and ‘knitted together…’’(Complete letter below.)

I remember crying while writing these words, not in grief, but in the realization of what a special gift we were given and just how much God was going to use our boy to impact our lives and this world.

I could have never begun to imagine just how soon and how greatly this extra special boy would change us though.

***Part 5 in next post on his 4th Birthday!!***

•Our Announcement Letter:

July 29, 2014... Hi Friends, We wanted to take a minute to share an update with you on our newest member of the family Colt. Turns out our little guy has been gifted with an extra chromosome, (otherwise known as Trisomy 21 or Down syndrome).

We sort of knew this soon after Colt was born when we saw his precious face that revealed one characteristic of down syndrome which is the adorable up-slanted almond eyes. He also didn't cry in the first 24 hours aside from a diaper change, which we also knew wasn't "normal". After a quick search on the internet we learned that many babies that have down syndrome do not cry very often. So this also began to confirm our belief that he could possibly have down syndrome.

When the midwife came back the day after the delivery for Colt's 24 hour check-up, she asked us if he looked like our others, we told her, "well yes, his older brother but with down syndrome". She was caught off guard as she didn't think that we had noticed nor did she realize that we would be just as happy with this possible diagnosis. She then confirmed to us that she also thought that he possibly had down syndrome.

We told her that it changed nothing for us in our mind. After all, Psalm 139 hasn't changed. He is just as fearfully and wonderfully made by our perfect creator as our other five children so why should we feel any different? God didn't make a mistake when Colt was being “intricately woven” and “knitted together”.

Last week Colt was seen by a pediatrician and a genetics doctor who both confirmed that Trisomy 21 was an accurate diagnosis. The last step was waiting for the results of his blood test which we received yesterday morning from genetics lab giving the final confirmation of the diagnosis that we felt we had already known since the day he was born.

We are praying that God will be glorified as we get the opportunity to share with our friends and family why we are just as thrilled and have just as much joy with Colt as with our five others (who as you know are not perfect and also come with their own little package of health and behavior issues that just so happens to not be given a packaged title or cute physical traits that might define their issues into a specific group).

As we were watching all of our kids cuddling Colt and doting on him and Luke carrying him around singing to him, Jim said, "well he couldn't have been born into a better family to always have someone loving on him and taking care of him :)"

Even though we know he'll be a greater gift to us than we are to him. Really it's not about him or us but just that it is an opportunity for God to be glorified and we are so grateful for that. We also know that there will be some unique challenges ahead but we have faith in our perfect Father and praise Him for another amazing gift in Colt!

Love, Jim and Kelsi

Birthday Boy and Final Part to Colt’s Birth Story

Today we celebrate 4 years since the start of this story with our precious gift Colt!

Colt, our preacher, singer, dancer, magician, mischievous cookie thief with contagious joy and love, has already touched the lives of more than some people do in a life time. We loved him before we knew any of that because of what we knew about God. But we didn’t believe those truths like we should.

We knew every individual is wonderfully made in the image of God deserving of equal love, life and respect.

We knew that what the world defines as success: fame, beauty, talent, wealth, popularity, comfort and ease, never leads to true joy and more often leaves those that achieve them empty and seeking more.

As the hymn says, our “worth is not in skill or name, in win or lose, in pride or shame But in the blood of Christ that flowed At the cross”.

But every time we looked at a child with different abilities with a bit of sadness instead of celebrating those differences and seeing the gift in them or feared having a child that was considered different instead of realizing what it really means to believe that God doesn’t make mistakes, we have shown our weak faith. We placed a value on an individual based on the world’s ever changing, conditional, ranking system instead of showing Christ’s unconditional love and trust in His sovereign plan.

God used Colt to open our eyes to this weakness. He strengthened our faith in His perfect plans replacing fear with courage in celebration of unique differences, knowing that they are for His glory.

In doing so, God used Colt to lead us to Nic, an orphan across the ocean whom He loved unconditionally and knew would need us, long before either boys were even a thought to us.

I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes of this story or what lies ahead, but if the first four years are any indication as to what’s to come, God has a lot more to accomplish through one little boy, who happens to have an extra chromosome.

Oh how we love him and how grateful we are to be a part of this story and to share it with all of you! Thank you for celebrating!

Colt’s Birthday Highlights

Just try not to smile!... If you missed Colt opening his presents or if you’re like me and could watch this everyday, here’s a highlight reel of pure joy! The last one is a card that he received with as much excitement and joy as his beloved Moana doll. CLICK ON LINK to watch! Colt's Birthday